Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
