but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
