Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
