So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
