I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
