so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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