That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Randomize
