absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize