I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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