Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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