have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize