Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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