no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
