last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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