I want to make a zoo with you.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
