My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
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