dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
3pm strippers are depressing
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
