Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
