Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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