is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
