Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Randomize
