I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
