Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
