Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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