Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
