You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
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