you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
