I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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