Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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