So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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