I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Randomize
