In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Please, let me fuck your mom
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize