His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
