maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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