You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
