i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
