Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
