Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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