we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
