I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize