Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
