i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
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