I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize