And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Randomize
