Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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