...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
