Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
