Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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