the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
