He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
