i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Randomize
