So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
