Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
