Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
