OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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