this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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