SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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