I feel like I'm in dance class right now
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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