Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
