My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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