we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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