sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
