You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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