apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
