So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Let's paint friendship bongs
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
