Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
That's intense
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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