you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
A+ Viking dick
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
