her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Randomize
