so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize