i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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