so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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