For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Randomize
